Sometimes...

...even now, I look at my children sleeping and my heart swells to the point of bursting.  What did I ever do to deserve such blessings?

...I wonder where the bugs in my house go when they run away from me and how many there really are in my walls.  I don't sleep well when I wonder this.

...I wonder why Map Quest always takes me through the worst part of town.  I mean, I know I grew up in the ghetto but I really have no need to visit all of the other ghettos in all of the other cities to which I travel.

...I want to just go to the airport and buy a ticket to the first city I see on the departure board.  Of course my OCD/Taurus mind won't let that happen unless I research the city, make hotel and dinner reservations and find the nearest shopping mall.  Kind of defeats the purpose.

...I just start talking to God mid sentence.  I know this aggravates my friends when I do it to them, but I figure he already knows what I was thinking anyway right?

...I wonder how people get through a day without talking to God?  I asked my son the other day if he prayed.  He said, "yes but not every day".  Really?  I chat with God like I'm IM'ing Him.  Just random nothings or deep prayers - doesn't matter.  We're tight.  I'm going to have to mention this to the boys so they don't think praying has to be a formal event.

...the need I have to be near the ocean or Chesapeake Bay is a physical pull that can actually hurt.

...I'm in the middle of an argument and I realize I'm wrong.  I hate it when that happens.

...I reach a point at work when I realize that I am finished being productive for the day.  It's bad when that happens at 10:00 in the morning but I just think of that as my brain needing some down time.  I embrace it.

...a song gets stuck in my head and it can stay there for days.  Often it's annoying but most times I just go with it and sing it until even my brain is tired of hearing it and it goes away.

...I get frustrated with women who feel the need to downplay their strengths because they feel like they are bragging.  This is exactly why men do so much better in the business world than we do.  I am smart - much smarter than many of my colleagues.  It's not bragging, it's a strength that should be put to use.  I refuse to bury that. 

...I also get frustrated with men when they fail to realize that women are not supposed to be exactly like them either at home or in the workplace.  Women bring a different perspective to a situation that is supposed to be different than their male counterparts.  It's how we are wired...on purpose.  Don't fuck around with God's plan.  Go with it.

...I read a sentence three or four times and still have no idea what I've read.

...I can spend hours in Staples or CVS just "window" shopping.

...I wish I had an aptitude for technology.  I still can't figure out how the picture gets into the TV and when people try to explain it to me I find I don't really care.  Just shut up and let me see the end of this show.

...I ask my husband to pull my finger.

...when I walk through automatic doors I pretend I'm magical.  I wave my arms in the air, embarrass my boys, and shout "wingardia leviosa".  Being my child may not be perfect, but it's never boring.

...I marvel at the man that is my husband.  He frustrates me and is turning into an unhappy, grumpy old man but he's my unhappy, grumpy old man and I'll pull him through this phase of life the way I've pulled him through all of the others.  Just like he does for me. 

And finally, sometimes I wonder what would have happened and where I would be if I hadn't quit drinking.  But fortunately that's only sometimes.  Most times I'm just grateful as hell that I did.

Namaste